Awaken
It's just gone 5am, and I've been awake for roughly three hours now. That's ok, I don't seem to need sleep at the moment and that's partly the reason why I'm here. I've been mulling over migrating everything from my Tumblr account, and now seems like a good time to start. I'll fill in some gaps later.
For those who have been following along at Facebook and Instagram, you would know me as this guy:
For many years I suspected that things weren't "quite right". I blew hot and cold. I would spend weeks to months in a haze of depression, then come to life for a day or two only to slip back down the black slope to misery. It played merry hell with my marriage, with the relationship I had with my two eldest children, and with my sense of self worth. Three years ago I took to running, partly as a way to self medicate and partly because I was sick of feeling unfit. Needless to say, I may have overdone it. I went from struggling to get around the block to running an ultra marathon within 13 months. All the while starting a university degree, setting up my local parkrun and the occasional meet and greet with the people who lived in my house - I believe they are known as family. In the end, I crashed and burned. I was broken mentally and could not face the idea of doing another event.
For those who have been following along at Facebook and Instagram, you would know me as this guy:
The shy and retiring type
For those who have stumbled across this by accident or otherwise, I am Bill. I'm 40, married and a dad. I run a lot, cycle a bit, and swim occasionally. I'm a nurse... and I have Type II bipolar disorder.
For many years I suspected that things weren't "quite right". I blew hot and cold. I would spend weeks to months in a haze of depression, then come to life for a day or two only to slip back down the black slope to misery. It played merry hell with my marriage, with the relationship I had with my two eldest children, and with my sense of self worth. Three years ago I took to running, partly as a way to self medicate and partly because I was sick of feeling unfit. Needless to say, I may have overdone it. I went from struggling to get around the block to running an ultra marathon within 13 months. All the while starting a university degree, setting up my local parkrun and the occasional meet and greet with the people who lived in my house - I believe they are known as family. In the end, I crashed and burned. I was broken mentally and could not face the idea of doing another event.
On the advice of my wife, who had seen a documentary on the multiple forms of bipolar disorder on the TV, I consulted my GP with my concerns and made mention that this may be the source of my issues. He suggested we try a medication regime and so far it has been successful. Not plain sailing. I recently filled a prescription with generic pharmacy medication, and despite what the talk is, they aren't the same. When one of the potential side effects of said medication is the possibly fatal Stevens-Johnson syndrome, and you start to itch like crazy, it starts to play on your mind. This may be why I've not slept much recently. Not to mention I've torn my feet to pieces scratching. Poor sleep throws my mood cycle out, and I'm looking at doing up to five night shifts on the wards next week. I have a backup plan if it all goes south. Not that I want to put it in to action, I'll be wiped out for a while and I've only recently rediscovered my enthusiasm to run and cycle. On the flip, I may end up with some new toys from a manic induced spending spree...
Hide the credit card please.
B
B
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